Sunday, December 18, 2005

Dog vs. water buffalo

I have an email friend in China who owns Rook, a lovely Dutch Shepherd. Rook is fascinated by water buffalo (can I call them cows, for the purposes of this blog?), as you can see in this photo. Thanks to Stuart for providing the photos!

“Are you talking to me? Are YOU talking to ME?!!”


My friend Melissa, in California, kindly sent me these wonderful photos of the Cowabunch experience, North of Highway 12, between Santa Rosa and Sebastopol, CA.

Can you tell which cows are real, and which aren't? And I want that big one for my front lawn!!!

Thursday, November 17, 2005

California cows

Well, not really Californian.. they just happen to be at a wildlife park (Safari West) in California that my friend Dephal visited!

We have here some watusi cattle (giganto horns) and some Cape Buffalo.

Have you ever seen horns so THICK? I mean, IMAGINE carrying those around on your head! It would be a real problem fitting through doorways, making calls in phone booths, sitting down at a voting booth...

Here is what the Safari West site has to say about Watusi cattle:

Key Facts:
Size: Each horn can measure 5 feet in length with a base diameter of 6 inches.
Weight: Cows weigh 800-1200 lbs and bulls range from 1000-1600 lbs. Newborns weigh 30-50 lbs.
General Description:
One of the oldest and most exciting breeds of cattle that originated on the African continent. They possess the largest and most dramatic horns of any breed. They have short, soft hair with darkly-pigmented skin.

Thanks to Dephal for letting me post her lovely photos!

Thursday, October 27, 2005


Yeah, yeah, I've been remiss. Finally I have some new cow photos for y'all.

The girls hear the sweet sound of apples. Wait...apples don't talk. Okay: from afar, the girls see the sweet redness of apples.

It is your sworn duty to fill my gaping maw!

Do not hate me because I am beautiful! Come closer so that I may annoint you with the sacred saliva.

And while you're here, could you do something about these damned flies?

"So, a priest, a rabbi and a minister are standing around in a barn..."
(Can you believe how big "baby" has gotten? That's her on the left!)

Give me the apple, or the tongue of death will flay you, leaving nothing but a bloody, skinless corpse!

What, leaving so soon?

Monday, October 03, 2005

Mmmm... ice cream!

This is very cow-related. It's all about how Ben & Jerry's makes ice cream, start to finish:

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Yeah, yeah, more is coming!

I have been so busy with Knatolee's World that I have been remiss about updating the Cow Diaries. I do have some photos to post, and will do so asap. In the meantime, here is another cow link for your reading pleasure.

Coming soon to Wisconsin:

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Cow dog?

Wanna make your dog look like a cow? Get out those knitting needles!

America's Dairyland... moo, baby!

Okay, I am FINALLY posting the last of the cow pics from my trip to America's Dairyland (Wisconsin) last spring.

"What have we here? Visitors? An international visitor??"

"Do you have APPLES? Canadian APPLES?"

"If you have no apples, get the away from me, Canadian Satan-Girl!"

"While it is true I have not yet tasted human flesh, there is no better time than the present, my American compatriot!"

"Save us, O visitors! Here they keep our children in maximum security!"

Who knew the American dairy farm was such a hotbed of unrest?

Lovely cow pics

For some lovely cow pictures, go to the site of my e-friend and enjoy:

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Farmhouse Natural Cheese

Bless them, they have their own website now:

SO delicious! And I like the resident cows, some of whom are pictured in this blog.

Friday, July 29, 2005

Cheese cows

These darling moo-moos reside at the place where we get that darn delicious cheese, out in Agassiz (The Farm House Natural Cheeses.) My hubby took very nice pictures of these bovine babies.


Who knew cows had UPC codes?

Enjoying the July sun!

Startling revelation

Apparently, I am steeped in ignorance when it comes to cows. Baby Bull is NOT a baby bull. Baby bull is actually "Miz Heifer". We had friends visit us from Nova Scotia last week. Andrew raises cattle (although he's switching to organic cereals.) He politely pointed out that Baby Bull lacks the necessary "equipment" to be a bull. And sure enough, yesterday I noticed her teeny-tiny teats. I'm so embarrassed... you'd think I could sex a cow. Here we are, Anne, Andrew and me, (and toasty Tara the English Setter) performing scientific observations (because what else do you take a tourist cattle farmer to see but the village cows?):

"That's no bull!"

New Glarus

This is wonderful New Glarus, Wisconsin. Somehow I managed to miss it on my recent Wisconsin tour, but my Madison friend Phyllis kindly sent me this shot. Doesn't every Main Street, USA have a giant cow?

And another website for cow lovers:

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Moose and Cow love

In 1986, a moose wandered out of the woods in Vermont and fell in love with a cow named Jessica:

And then someone wrote a song about it (scroll down to "If I were a Moose"):

No chance of moose-cow love in this village, but I suppose a black bear lovin' up a cow is a possibility!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

How to devour an apple in a few easy steps

We visited Mama and Baby cow yesterday. There is an ugly rumour going around the village that 25 houses might be built on the land where the cows live (the owner wants to sell. It used to be a chicken farm, but he can't manage it anymore.) Time for us to moooove! No way would I put up with 25 ugly houses being dumped in the village. I am sad for the cows. Nonetheless, if this comes to pass it won't happen for some time. There's a lot of paperwork involved in taking land out of the Agricultural Land Reserve.

Anyway, we took the bovines some apples yesterday. Baby bull was completely uninterested, preferring that oh-so-delicious grass. But Mama came trotting right over. That's my girl!

Witness her technique for eating an apple:

Extend neck turtle-like through fence, towards the succulent goodness offered by the hairy arm. (Note: that's my husband's hairy arm, not mine!)

The "Over Fence" technique can be equally effective.

Use your unspeakably large tongue to curl the apple into mouth and towards the munching implements (i.e. teeth.)

As you can see here, it is possible to lick the apple right out of the unwary human's hand, allowing it to fall directly into the gaping bovine maw.

Exploit your cuteness and beg for more!

Make sure your kids are otherwise occupied, so as to ensure that all apples remain in the custody of YOUR stomach. Lesson over!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


I walked by the cows today, with my faithful English Setter Tara, and I brought apples. Nice, juicy, organic apples that probably cost a buck each, and were rolling around the fridge, waiting to be eaten.

I walked by the cows today, and I was IGNORED.

Ignored! They were too busy eaten oh-so-tasty GRASS to pay attention to me and my apples.

Imagine. Ignored!!! Maybe I'll have to rename this blog "The Slug Diaries" (hey, good idea! slug diaries!) and take photos of the abundant sluglife around here.


Sunday, June 05, 2005

Mmm, cow pies

What sort of person names a chocolatey treat after a bovine turd?

This treasure came from Wisconsin, and while it may have a dubious name, it was magically delicious! However, to the best of my knowledge, cows do not have opposable thumbs. But it would be interesting to live in a place named "Baraboo." Baraboo appears to be the Cow Pie Capital of the USA. Anyone out there from Baraboo? Perhaps "Homer Holstein"? (Anyone out there reading any of this?)

Saturday, May 21, 2005

America's Dairyland

We took this photo in case we didn't find any cows. What were we thinking? No cows in Wisconsin? That's like no plumbers' cracks in Madison!

Does anyone know how to pronounce "Trygve"?

A genuine Wisconsin herd:

"Look girls, there's another tourist freak stopping traffic to take our picture. Time for a little methane output!"

I can't decide whether these two heifers are guard cows or a harem:

"Then, out of the darkness, came death with a nose ring."


Another Wisconsin wonder:

So tell me, do moose and cows really interact in a friendly way? If a cow and a moose got in a fight, wouldn't the moose win?

Old Blue Eyes

I think it's probably safe to say that only in Wisconsin would you find this in front of a shoe store:

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Hypnotic bovine aside, it was a most excellent shoe store and I bought THREE PAIRS of shoes there. If you know me, you know I am not a shoe-a-holic and I don't know if I have ever in my life bought three pairs of shoes all at the same time. Part of that stems from the difficulty I have finding shoes to fit my large feet.

Here is a shot of my friend Phyllis, at one with the bovine. The guy who owns the shoe store is also a big-time sports fan, which is why the freakish cow is also sporting a baseball cap!

"Step away from the udder, ma'am!"

If you would like to see some truly freakish cow attractions, visit:

Intersesting, isn't it, how many of them are in Wisconsin? I clearly did not try hard enough to seek out freakish cow attractions on my trip through America's Dairyland.

Cows you can buy

I have a lotta cow shots from my Wisconsin trip. But let's start here. This is just a tiny smidgen of the available cow merchandise I saw in and around Madison:

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Diary cows

Okay, so I am way behind on my cow blog! The life of a cow photojournalist isn't always easy, ya know. I just spent a week in Wisconsin (America's Dairyland; bring on the cheese curds!) and I now have a backlog of magnificent bovine portraits to load. I haven't been over to photograph the local cow couple lately, but I will visit with the Nikon soon.

Anyhoo, last month we drove out to Birchwood Dairy’s Farm Market at 1154 Fadden Road in Abbotsford , where we had some very nice ice cream:

I was all ready to take lots of cow pictures, but I could only find one cow gurl to photograph:

Is she not udderly delightful? However, she seemed a bit shy and wouldn't cooperate particularly well with me and my camera. I supposed I'm just lucky she didn't decide to shower me with hot manure!

"Piss off and stop taking photos of my ass!"

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Whimsical Cow

Here we have my latest purchase from Liquidation World (I also bought some surprisingly good After Eight biscuits there!):

Yes, the Whimsical Cow, gracing a 79-cent gift bag that I shall eventually bestow on some lucky recipient. I notice a distinct lack of two legs on this cow, however, he (no udder, must be a "he") has clearly just enjoyed a bag of organic apples. Note the rapturous smile!

We went to visit Mama cow and calf yesterday. I guess I should name them, eh? But they probably already already have names, not that I know them. Any suggestions? "Bessie" seems too obvious. Anyway! We took carrots for our mooful friends, but they were TOO BUSY eating hay to be bothered coming over. I mean, really, the nerve. I guess the are punishing me for last week when I treatlessly sauntered by. "Screw you, you apple lady!"

So we walked over to another farm across from the tearoom (see: There were many sheep, some lambs, a horse and a donkey in the field. We thought the donkey, being relatively close to the fence, might like the carrots. Unfortunately we couldn't get his attention. So Gordon just started pitching carrots with all his might. Nolan Ryan my beloved ain't. The donkey studiously ignored the carrots landing thirty feet from him, although one sheep did walk up to sniff one, then backed away in disgust.

If it ever stops raining here, I will go get some more shots of Mama and baby cow for you all. Moo!

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Treat suggestions?

Anyone know what else I can safely feed a cow as a treat, besides organic (!) apples, carrots and the odd pear? I don't want to kill 'em or make 'em sick, but I'm just curious if there's anything else in the fruit/veggie drawer that I can bring them. I suppose they are a bit like horses in terms of their food preferences.

Ridiculous eh, organic apples for a cow?! Like clover and hay aren't good enough for them! And of course, when I'm not stealing food from our family of two (unless you count pets, in which case we're up to a family of seven, but if you count the betta fish, it's eight, and if you count the fish pond, it's more like a family of 58!) to feed my bovine babies, they get those lovely fresh apples right off our neighbour's tree.

Ya know, I never realized how much personality cows have until I started this feeding regime. This is the closest relationship I have ever had with moo-pals (get your head out of the gutter.) They are really sweet, and man, are they LARGE. Their noggins are much bigger than horse heads. The Godfather would have had a hard time leaving a cow head between someone's sheets.

The other day I committed a cardinal sin and walked Tara (the English Setter) past my cow buddies WITHOUT BRINGING TREATS! Mama and calf came running over to me, and followed me as I walked along the fence. I apologized profusely, but they weren't impressed. Mama mooed loudly several times as I walked away. I am a BAD cow friend. Bad, bad, wicked, bad.

Here is a shot of me admiring Tara, who is NOT a cow and is unafraid of cows, and the cows are unafraid of her. On this particular day, we had stopped by the cow pasture. This picture was taken post-treat frenzy. I'm slipping it in because I think Tara is kind of cute for a 13-year-old, even if she isn't technically a cow. But I bet she'd make a good cow. She loves treats! And her saliva rivals that of a bovine. Note the drool hanging ever-so-delicately from her velvety lips.

PS: Brian, the cows miss you. They want you to come back!