The Cow Diaries

Radio-controlled round-up

2011-09-21T19:56:00.001-04:00

Hilarious! I love cows.

Visit to a dairy farm

2011-03-05T09:10:00.000-05:00

I know, I know, I'm only updating this thing about twice a year now. Not very impressive! Anyway, in January we visited a local dairy farm, which was fascinating. Here are a few pictures...

Well HELLO!

Beautiful dairy cows.

Velvety soft!

Ready to be milked.

The barn cats enjoying their daily allotment.

Hubby gets a lesson on milking.

Moooooo to you!

Glengarry Cows

2010-06-29T14:12:00.001-04:00

Some of neighbours' lovely cows and calves, snoozing before the thunderstorms rolled in. See, it's true. Cows DO lie down when it's going to rain!

A cow in Buffalo, 1959

2010-01-03T13:02:00.002-05:00

For reasons unknown to me, my mother took this photo of a cow in Buffalo, New York, in 1959.

The Knitted Cow Sling Returns

2009-04-26T14:33:00.002-04:00

In a long-ago post on this neglected blog, I posted a link to a knitted cow sling. The link has since crapped out, so I went searching for more cow sling links. Here you go. Knitters, start your needles!

Knitted Cow Sling

A blogger who knit a cow sling

Cows of Sri Lanka

2008-01-23T09:35:00.000-05:00

Uh yeah, it has indeed been two years since we visited Sri Lanka, and I am indeed only just now posting pictures of the COWS OF SRI LANKA!

A lot has gone on. since my -way-long-ago last post. We've moved twice and are now on the other side of the country from the lovely Clayburn Village cows. On a brighter note, we have our own farm now, and maybe one day I'll have a pet cow. But for now, I bring you some beautiful cattle from beautiful but troubled Sri Lanka.

That's a sign for yogurt and ice cream to the right of the calf!

Let's see if I can remember.... I think this was taken at Bundala National Park. Water buffalo, no?

Can you spot the cow in this photo? I was riding in one of those tuktuks when I took this!

"One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong..."

What a beautiful spotted creature!

Spot the water buffaloes!

So many cows in Sri Lanka, so many colours!

Okay, this was taken at some botanical gardens not too far from Kandy.

At the same botanical gardens:

More moos.

More moos.

Skinny moo.

Lovely moo.

Moos in mud.

Cute little moos.

Moos at... a national park. I think it was Bundala again.

Moo on path.

Moo crossing sign seen from our safari jeep on way to Bundala and Jala. That's a leopard sticker on the window. We saw three leopards at Yala.

Roadside moos.

More roadside moos.

Resting moos.

Pretty moo.

Reclining moo with birds at Bundala.

Preggars moo with bird friend.

If you want to see more about our Sri Lanka trip, click here.

Neglected

2006-06-16T10:31:00.000-04:00

The poor Cow Diaries... so neglected! I still haven't done my Cows of Sri Lanka segment. Oh well, for the moment I bring to you two postcards sent to my by my friend Dephal in California. Notice anything strange around the borders of the Swiss Cows postcard? Well, that would be some fine St. Bernard fur, courtesy of the Dephal family dog, Ruthie. Dephal once mailed me a bag of St. Bernard and Newf fur. I am a very SPECIAL friend.

Cows on parade again!

2006-03-21T11:10:00.000-05:00

Okay, okay, so The Cow Diaries took a hiatus while I went to Sri Lanka, but we're back. And soon, there will be a Cows of Sri Lanka installment!

But what have we here? It's COWS ON PARADE!

These beautiful creatures are on parade right now in lovely Madison, Wisconsin, in front of the UW Hospital. I would enjoy having these bovines greet me as I arrived for my gall bladder surgery or what have you. The theme for these cows is the Wizard of Oz.

Good witch Glinda cow in all her frou-frou glory! Her udder is tastefully kept under wraps by a stunning pink velvet (use your imagination) frock.

The Emerald City Cow. Is this the Great Oz? Because his humanoid back end is creeping me out!

The freaky little munchkin cow! He's from the Lollypop Brigade. What was your first clue?

Is that your hat, or are you just happy to see me? Wait, that joke doesn't work on a girl cow. nevermind.

These photos are courtesy of my humble slave, er, I mean, dear friend, Phyllis DeGioia of Madison. By the way, if you need a dog writer, she's FANTASTIC! Just email me if you want to hire her. She rocks!

For more on these wonderful beasties, check out:
Cheesy Public Art

Knitting project for cow lovers

2006-01-15T10:12:00.000-05:00

Oh my....

Cow Sling

Cow magnet?

2006-01-15T09:48:00.000-05:00

Stray metal in your cow's stomach? Here's the solution:

http://www.stevespanglerscience.com/product/1407

Ginny and friends

2006-01-15T09:36:00.000-05:00

My friend Ginny has kindly allowed me to post these photos of her and her close encounters with cows. The big black fellow is Flag, a steer who loves getting his chin scratched. I never knew what lovely personalities cows can have until I moved her and got up close and personal with our village cows. Doesn't Flag look over the moon, getting his chin scritchies from Auntie Ginny?

The Mama Highland cattle cow (not a technical term, I'm sure) is giving Ginny the hairy eyeball because Mama's two calves did a bit of a runner when they saw Ginny enter the yard, even though Ginny averted her eyes and let Mama know she was no threat. I love Highland cattle... they make me think of bovine dogs!

Happy California cows

2006-01-15T09:33:00.000-05:00

http://www.realcaliforniacheese.com/home.cfm?start=1

Why ARE they so very, very happy? Good drugs?

And guess what? Cows excel at selecting leaders:

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20051219/cowleader_ani.html

Dog vs. water buffalo

2005-12-18T10:30:00.000-05:00

I have an email friend in China who owns Rook, a lovely Dutch Shepherd. Rook is fascinated by water buffalo (can I call them cows, for the purposes of this blog?), as you can see in this photo. Thanks to Stuart for providing the photos!

“Are you talking to me? Are YOU talking to ME?!!”

Cowabuncha!

2005-12-18T10:21:00.000-05:00

My friend Melissa, in California, kindly sent me these wonderful photos of the Cowabunch experience, North of Highway 12, between Santa Rosa and Sebastopol, CA.

Can you tell which cows are real, and which aren't? And I want that big one for my front lawn!!!

Cow takes a dip in backyard pool

2005-11-20T13:20:00.000-05:00

Strange but true:

http://www.nbc4.tv/news/5224444/detail.html

California cows

2005-11-17T11:05:00.000-05:00

Well, not really Californian.. they just happen to be at a wildlife park (Safari West) in California that my friend Dephal visited!

We have here some watusi cattle (giganto horns) and some Cape Buffalo.

Have you ever seen horns so THICK? I mean, IMAGINE carrying those around on your head! It would be a real problem fitting through doorways, making calls in phone booths, sitting down at a voting booth...

Here is what the Safari West site has to say about Watusi cattle:

---------------

Key Facts:

Size: Each horn can measure 5 feet in length with a base diameter of 6 inches.

Weight: Cows weigh 800-1200 lbs and bulls range from 1000-1600 lbs. Newborns weigh 30-50 lbs.

General Description:

One of the oldest and most exciting breeds of cattle that originated on the African continent. They possess the largest and most dramatic horns of any breed. They have short, soft hair with darkly-pigmented skin.

---------------

Thanks to Dephal for letting me post her lovely photos!

Finally!

2005-10-27T11:10:00.000-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I've been remiss. Finally I have some new cow photos for y'all.

The girls hear the sweet sound of apples. Wait...apples don't talk. Okay: from afar, the girls see the sweet redness of apples.

It is your sworn duty to fill my gaping maw!

Do not hate me because I am beautiful! Come closer so that I may annoint you with the sacred saliva.

And while you're here, could you do something about these damned flies?

"So, a priest, a rabbi and a minister are standing around in a barn..."
(Can you believe how big "baby" has gotten? That's her on the left!)

Give me the apple, or the tongue of death will flay you, leaving nothing but a bloody, skinless corpse!

What, leaving so soon?

Mmmm... ice cream!

2005-10-03T10:45:00.000-04:00

This is very cow-related. It's all about how Ben & Jerry's makes ice cream, start to finish:

http://www.benjerry.com/fun_stuff/cow_to_cone/

Yeah, yeah, more is coming!

2005-09-15T16:43:00.000-04:00

I have been so busy with Knatolee's World that I have been remiss about updating the Cow Diaries. I do have some photos to post, and will do so asap. In the meantime, here is another cow link for your reading pleasure.

Coming soon to Wisconsin:

http://www.cowparade.com/

Revolutionary cows

2005-08-21T13:40:00.000-04:00

Oh yeah, baby, they exist!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/cowswithguns.php

Cow dog?

2005-08-14T12:49:00.000-04:00

Wanna make your dog look like a cow? Get out those knitting needles!

http://www.camillavalleyfarm.com/mission/ew19kit.htm

America's Dairyland... moo, baby!

2005-08-14T11:05:00.000-04:00

Okay, I am FINALLY posting the last of the cow pics from my trip to America's Dairyland (Wisconsin) last spring.

"What have we here? Visitors? An international visitor??"

"Do you have APPLES? Canadian APPLES?"

"If you have no apples, get the away from me, Canadian Satan-Girl!"

"While it is true I have not yet tasted human flesh, there is no better time than the present, my American compatriot!"

"Save us, O visitors! Here they keep our children in maximum security!"

Who knew the American dairy farm was such a hotbed of unrest?

Lovely cow pics

2005-08-14T09:50:00.000-04:00

For some lovely cow pictures, go to the site of my e-friend and enjoy:

http://www.pbase.com/bfsandy/cows

Farmhouse Natural Cheese

2005-08-11T15:48:00.000-04:00

Bless them, they have their own website now:

www.farmhousecheeses.com

SO delicious! And I like the resident cows, some of whom are pictured in this blog.

Cheese cows

2005-07-29T10:58:00.000-04:00

These darling moo-moos reside at the place where we get that darn delicious cheese, out in Agassiz (The Farm House Natural Cheeses.) My hubby took very nice pictures of these bovine babies.

Mmm...silage!

Who knew cows had UPC codes?

Enjoying the July sun!

Startling revelation

2005-07-29T10:41:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I am steeped in ignorance when it comes to cows. Baby Bull is NOT a baby bull. Baby bull is actually "Miz Heifer". We had friends visit us from Nova Scotia last week. Andrew raises cattle (although he's switching to organic cereals.) He politely pointed out that Baby Bull lacks the necessary "equipment" to be a bull. And sure enough, yesterday I noticed her teeny-tiny teats. I'm so embarrassed... you'd think I could sex a cow. Here we are, Anne, Andrew and me, (and toasty Tara the English Setter) performing scientific observations (because what else do you take a tourist cattle farmer to see but the village cows?):

"That's no bull!"

New Glarus

2005-07-29T10:39:00.000-04:00

This is wonderful New Glarus, Wisconsin. Somehow I managed to miss it on my recent Wisconsin tour, but my Madison friend Phyllis kindly sent me this shot. Doesn't every Main Street, USA have a giant cow?

And another website for cow lovers:

http://www.chicagotraveler.com/cowsonparade1.htm

Moose and Cow love

2005-07-06T12:21:00.000-04:00

In 1986, a moose wandered out of the woods in Vermont and fell in love with a cow named Jessica:

http://www.linkvermont.com/external_links/amazoncom_amooseforjessica.htm

And then someone wrote a song about it (scroll down to "If I were a Moose"):

http://www.jg.org/folk/artists/fredsmall/i.will.stand.fast.lyrics.html

No chance of moose-cow love in this village, but I suppose a black bear lovin' up a cow is a possibility!

How to devour an apple in a few easy steps

2005-06-19T11:38:00.000-04:00

We visited Mama and Baby cow yesterday. There is an ugly rumour going around the village that 25 houses might be built on the land where the cows live (the owner wants to sell. It used to be a chicken farm, but he can't manage it anymore.) Time for us to moooove! No way would I put up with 25 ugly houses being dumped in the village. I am sad for the cows. Nonetheless, if this comes to pass it won't happen for some time. There's a lot of paperwork involved in taking land out of the Agricultural Land Reserve.

Anyway, we took the bovines some apples yesterday. Baby bull was completely uninterested, preferring that oh-so-delicious grass. But Mama came trotting right over. That's my girl!

Witness her technique for eating an apple:

Extend neck turtle-like through fence, towards the succulent goodness offered by the hairy arm. (Note: that's my husband's hairy arm, not mine!)

The "Over Fence" technique can be equally effective.

Use your unspeakably large tongue to curl the apple into mouth and towards the munching implements (i.e. teeth.)

As you can see here, it is possible to lick the apple right out of the unwary human's hand, allowing it to fall directly into the gaping bovine maw.

Exploit your cuteness and beg for more!

Make sure your kids are otherwise occupied, so as to ensure that all apples remain in the custody of YOUR stomach. Lesson over!

Ignored

2005-06-08T21:23:00.000-04:00

I walked by the cows today, with my faithful English Setter Tara, and I brought apples. Nice, juicy, organic apples that probably cost a buck each, and were rolling around the fridge, waiting to be eaten.

I walked by the cows today, and I was IGNORED.

Ignored! They were too busy eaten oh-so-tasty GRASS to pay attention to me and my apples.

Imagine. Ignored!!! Maybe I'll have to rename this blog "The Slug Diaries" (hey, good idea! slug diaries!) and take photos of the abundant sluglife around here.

Harumpf.

Mmm, cow pies

2005-06-05T19:00:00.000-04:00

What sort of person names a chocolatey treat after a bovine turd?

This treasure came from Wisconsin, and while it may have a dubious name, it was magically delicious! However, to the best of my knowledge, cows do not have opposable thumbs. But it would be interesting to live in a place named "Baraboo." Baraboo appears to be the Cow Pie Capital of the USA. Anyone out there from Baraboo? Perhaps "Homer Holstein"? (Anyone out there reading any of this?)

America's Dairyland

2005-05-21T10:43:00.000-04:00

We took this photo in case we didn't find any cows. What were we thinking? No cows in Wisconsin? That's like no plumbers' cracks in Madison!

Does anyone know how to pronounce "Trygve"?

A genuine Wisconsin herd:

"Look girls, there's another tourist freak stopping traffic to take our picture. Time for a little methane output!"

I can't decide whether these two heifers are guard cows or a harem:

"Then, out of the darkness, came death with a nose ring."

Moose?

2005-05-21T10:30:00.000-04:00

Another Wisconsin wonder:

So tell me, do moose and cows really interact in a friendly way? If a cow and a moose got in a fight, wouldn't the moose win?

Old Blue Eyes

2005-05-21T10:10:00.000-04:00

I think it's probably safe to say that only in Wisconsin would you find this in front of a shoe store:

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Hypnotic bovine aside, it was a most excellent shoe store and I bought THREE PAIRS of shoes there. If you know me, you know I am not a shoe-a-holic and I don't know if I have ever in my life bought three pairs of shoes all at the same time. Part of that stems from the difficulty I have finding shoes to fit my large feet.

Here is a shot of my friend Phyllis, at one with the bovine. The guy who owns the shoe store is also a big-time sports fan, which is why the freakish cow is also sporting a baseball cap!

"Step away from the udder, ma'am!"

If you would like to see some truly freakish cow attractions, visit:

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/cow.html

Intersesting, isn't it, how many of them are in Wisconsin? I clearly did not try hard enough to seek out freakish cow attractions on my trip through America's Dairyland.

Cows you can buy

2005-05-21T10:04:00.000-04:00

I have a lotta cow shots from my Wisconsin trip. But let's start here. This is just a tiny smidgen of the available cow merchandise I saw in and around Madison:

Diary cows

2005-05-19T18:16:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I am way behind on my cow blog! The life of a cow photojournalist isn't always easy, ya know. I just spent a week in Wisconsin (America's Dairyland; bring on the cheese curds!) and I now have a backlog of magnificent bovine portraits to load. I haven't been over to photograph the local cow couple lately, but I will visit with the Nikon soon.

Anyhoo, last month we drove out to Birchwood Dairy’s Farm Market at 1154 Fadden Road in Abbotsford , where we had some very nice ice cream:

I was all ready to take lots of cow pictures, but I could only find one cow gurl to photograph:

Is she not udderly delightful? However, she seemed a bit shy and wouldn't cooperate particularly well with me and my camera. I supposed I'm just lucky she didn't decide to shower me with hot manure!

"Piss off and stop taking photos of my ass!"

Whimsical Cow

2005-04-03T18:29:00.000-04:00

Here we have my latest purchase from Liquidation World (I also bought some surprisingly good After Eight biscuits there!):

Yes, the Whimsical Cow, gracing a 79-cent gift bag that I shall eventually bestow on some lucky recipient. I notice a distinct lack of two legs on this cow, however, he (no udder, must be a "he") has clearly just enjoyed a bag of organic apples. Note the rapturous smile!

We went to visit Mama cow and calf yesterday. I guess I should name them, eh? But they probably already already have names, not that I know them. Any suggestions? "Bessie" seems too obvious. Anyway! We took carrots for our mooful friends, but they were TOO BUSY eating hay to be bothered coming over. I mean, really, the nerve. I guess the are punishing me for last week when I treatlessly sauntered by. "Screw you, you apple lady!"

So we walked over to another farm across from the tearoom (see: http://www.clayburn.heritagebc.org/. There were many sheep, some lambs, a horse and a donkey in the field. We thought the donkey, being relatively close to the fence, might like the carrots. Unfortunately we couldn't get his attention. So Gordon just started pitching carrots with all his might. Nolan Ryan my beloved ain't. The donkey studiously ignored the carrots landing thirty feet from him, although one sheep did walk up to sniff one, then backed away in disgust.

If it ever stops raining here, I will go get some more shots of Mama and baby cow for you all. Moo!

Treat suggestions?

2005-03-27T11:27:00.000-05:00

Anyone know what else I can safely feed a cow as a treat, besides organic (!) apples, carrots and the odd pear? I don't want to kill 'em or make 'em sick, but I'm just curious if there's anything else in the fruit/veggie drawer that I can bring them. I suppose they are a bit like horses in terms of their food preferences.

Ridiculous eh, organic apples for a cow?! Like clover and hay aren't good enough for them! And of course, when I'm not stealing food from our family of two (unless you count pets, in which case we're up to a family of seven, but if you count the betta fish, it's eight, and if you count the fish pond, it's more like a family of 58!) to feed my bovine babies, they get those lovely fresh apples right off our neighbour's tree.

Ya know, I never realized how much personality cows have until I started this feeding regime. This is the closest relationship I have ever had with moo-pals (get your head out of the gutter.) They are really sweet, and man, are they LARGE. Their noggins are much bigger than horse heads. The Godfather would have had a hard time leaving a cow head between someone's sheets.

The other day I committed a cardinal sin and walked Tara (the English Setter) past my cow buddies WITHOUT BRINGING TREATS! Mama and calf came running over to me, and followed me as I walked along the fence. I apologized profusely, but they weren't impressed. Mama mooed loudly several times as I walked away. I am a BAD cow friend. Bad, bad, wicked, bad.

Here is a shot of me admiring Tara, who is NOT a cow and is unafraid of cows, and the cows are unafraid of her. On this particular day, we had stopped by the cow pasture. This picture was taken post-treat frenzy. I'm slipping it in because I think Tara is kind of cute for a 13-year-old, even if she isn't technically a cow. But I bet she'd make a good cow. She loves treats! And her saliva rivals that of a bovine. Note the drool hanging ever-so-delicately from her velvety lips.

PS: Brian, the cows miss you. They want you to come back!

Sigh

2005-03-22T11:21:00.000-05:00

Y'all know I'm going to die the day they take this calf away to make sirloin, right? Do you see how his head looks a bit wet in the photos? That's because he is still nursing part of the time and the milk makes his fur sticky.

No wonder I can't eat beef much anymore... if had to kill my own dinner, I'd be a vegetarian.

Cows 'n' cheese

2005-03-22T10:50:00.000-05:00

After we recovered from Brian's experience with the cows, dear hubby and I went to a wonderful farm out in Agassiz where they make unspeakably delicious cheese from milk obtained from their unspeakably beautiful cows. It's called The Farm House Natural Cheeses Ltd., and is located at 5634 McCallum Road in Agassiz. Two visits and we're addicted to their cheeses. No website, but you can search under "cheese" at:
http://www.bcfarmfresh.com/
and you'll find more info.

Anyway, near the parking lot they have a small pasture with a two cows, a calf and a donkey (!)

How beautiful is this face? (Okay, it might be cuter without the cud-chewing action. Mum always told me not to chew gum!)

And how can you not adore this little calf, peeking out from beside Mama?

If you're in the area, go! And make sure you buy some cheese. Our favourite is the stinky but luscious Alpine Gold cheese they make.

Visitor from Toronto

2005-03-22T09:53:00.000-05:00

It was an cow-packed weekend for us! (Well, not that our hooman friend here is a cow or anything. And I guess he'd be a bull, not a cow, unless he was one of those castrated bulls. What do you call a castrated bull again? Castrati? Nope, that's opera. Anyway, it's irrelevant because Brian isn't castrated. At least, as far as I know. He does have a deep, masculine voice. Quite a lovely voice, really.) Our most excellent friend Brian came to visit us from grey and dreary Toronto, and apart from being impressed by the spectacular spring in BC (if I do say so myself), he was most eager to experience the village cows up close and personal. So off we went, carrots and apples in hand (or more accurately, a plastic bag.) Here are my dear husband Gordon (love ya, honey!) and our good friend Brian, awaiting the

...COMING OF THE COWS!

Here, Brian bravely offers Mama cow a carrot. Such courage in the face of perceived imminent death! (Those bulging, crazed moo-cow eyes, those nasty sharp teeth...)

Natalie shows the Cow-feeding Virgin just how friendly these beasts really are. (Note the abject terror disguised by Brian's casual smile, and the way his hand is frozen in fear as he waits for it to be amputated by Mama cow's nasty, slicing fangs. I hope you're not right-handed, Bri!)

The calf decides that this time, Mama ain't getting all the treats! (By the way, Brian, cow saliva dissolves human skin on contact. Next time, wear protective suiting.)

Can some intrepid scientist measure the viscosity of cow spit for me? (That is, without the saliva dissolving said intrepid scientist, leaving behind a jiggling mess of guts and skeleton, and a pocket protector.)

Brian and Mama cow, speaking in tongues (those whacky Torontonians! Don't they know that this means "Yes, I'm a tasty apple!" in bovine-speak?)

Ah, I think we can safely say that Brian is no longer a Cow-feeding Virgin (I can't speak for any other kind of virginity), and with just a few tasty pieces of produce, he has managed to overcome his trepidation and be one with the bovines. In fact, I'm starting to think he's a little TOO "one with the bovines"!

(And a good time was had by all. Mama kept her fangs away from Brian's flesh, the cow saliva didn't dissolve my fleece vest [although it does need a good washing now], and we all lived to see another day. Brian has a new respect for the terrible, beautiful bovine.)

Fruit slut

2005-02-24T18:12:00.000-05:00

Yep, Mama cow is a slut for fruit. I don't even need to wave my apple around now. I just walk up to the fence, and over comes Mama cow, lookin' for a sweet handout. Moo, baby.

Of course, guilt now prevents me from walking past the cow pasture without fruits or veggies in my pockets! Heaven forbid I should disappoint my bovine buddies.

Today I made a new discovery. Cows also like pears!

Mama cow is also really in to scritchies on the sides of her head. However, mostly she likes apples.

Cows like carrots!

2005-02-13T17:16:00.000-05:00

Not surprisingly, as we discovered today, cows like carrots!

"What have they got for me today?"

"Well, that looks a bit rude, but I'll try it anyway."

"Damn, that's tasty! But what is this gonna do to my svelte waistline?"

"Well, those don't look like the orange things I just ate, but I'll be happy to sample them anyway!"

(How can you resist such bovine cuteness???)

Time for apples!

2005-02-11T17:09:00.000-05:00

I feed apples to the cow and her calf that live down the lane. Now, they have come to expect treats from me whenever I walk by. Here is today's sequence:

"La la la, dum di dum, munch munch, minding our own business..."

"Hey! Is that the APPLE LADY?!"

STAMPEDE!

"We LOVE the Apple Lady! Apples, apples, apples!"

"Gimme dat apple!"

"Don't forget me! I know I still get free milk, but I looove apples."

"Maybe I can find the apple with my tongue! Or maybe I will just lick the camera."

"Am I not the picture of bovine beauty? Do I not deserve many, many apples?"

"Look at us! We are wasting away. Bring more freaking apples!"